I want to return to blogging. I finished the writing project I have been working on for about five years. I wrote the final chapter of my book two days ago. Yesterday I was in limbo. I hate limbo. It is a nothing place and everything I did felt like wasn’t what I was supposed to be doing. I did these wrong things anyway because I didn’t know what else to do. Today, I hope will be better.
I need to write. I had set my blog aside a while back because I wanted to get the damned book done. Now I need to return or I think I will go crazy.
This is a fertile time to write. A political hot-time-in-the-old-town-tonight kind of time. A look at the blogs I wrote during the last few elections will show you that I have plenty of opinions about politics so you’d think I would be thrilled to get back into the ring.
But I’m not. I posted on Facebook yesterday that I am taking a break from politics. I think it is a temporary break but I am not sure. If I can find a way to bypass politics all together, not just in my writing but in my life, I might take that path. As a citizen, I should keep informed about what is happening in my country, right? The problem is I am not sure what informed means. I am getting increasingly angry and depressed over hateful comments coming from the Left and the Right. I yearn for sanity. You might say I want an objective voice. But even more than that,I yearn for someone who can talk about what is happening in the world in a way that is not fearful or frantic or judgmental.
Maybe that person is me. Maybe. But for now, I am not sure I know how to do that. What does writing about fearful things without fearfulness look like? It looks rather saintly to me. Or extremely naive.
My book is about the Kingdom of God. (I won’t tell you more. You will have to wait for the book to come out). But I can tell you this much. I believe that the Kingdom of God is here and now. All this shit going on- the angry stuff all over Facebook and the news and in Washington and on the streets – is about the earthly kingdom. I think what I need to do is to learn how to live in the Heavenly Kingdom as though what Jesus said about it is true.
I will start working on that today. As soon as I am done posting this blog.