A statement attributed to Jim Carey: “The more resentment I carried, the smaller my heart became.” I feel today that the world is overloaded with small hearts.
I am an expert at carrying resentments, at least I used to be. In know that what Carey said is true: when I carried a resentment against someone, my capacity to love and care about them shrunk. Today, I don’t carry resentments, at least not for more than a couple of minutes at a time. For one thing, they are too heavy. That is why my knees are going bad. What I do with them is this:
- I tell a wise and trusted friend about my resentment. They help me sort things out.
- I stop judging the other person’s intentions. I don’t know why a person did something to hurt me. Any guesses on my part are just projections.
- I pray for the person I resent. I pray for their well-being and happiness. Praying helps keep my heart from collapsing until the resentment has a chance to fade away.
- I pray for healing for myself because resentment is a sickness as sure as the flu, and just as debilitating.
- I go on to do the next right thing and work at blocking out the resentful thoughts that keep hammering at me.