Serving our Children

This computer is so slow this morning that I combine my morning meditation with the waiting for something to happen. A little trick that I just discovered. Instead of getting all frustrated, try to sit in a situation with calm and presence. I bet it would work equally well waiting in the doctor’s office or in a long line of cars in a traffic jam. This could save my computer’s life.

Today, my daughter and I are off to town to wash the resort’s blankets. We will be going out to breakfast at a new little cafe she discovered. Spending time with her is the best part of this adventure.

In sharing about our helping at the resort with a woman I know,  she commented, “I hope they pay you for the work you do.” I remember thinking  how crazy that is. My husband and I have learned that when we help our adult children out with whatever the  need is, we  have provided ourselves with an opportunity to work side by side with them. Their lives are so busy, this may be the only time we get to spend with them.

Babysitting the grandchildren, too, is a way to  help with the benefit of spending time with the kids. If people feel used as they reach out  to serve their children, they need to look at their own inability to define boundaries. In our retirement years, Bernie and I have things we want to do and I myself need time to do things that give my life meaning. But I can’t blame them if I have said yes to a request for service and then find myself shorting myself. I am not always clear on what I need and have been known to regret agreeing to help, but that is all part of learning what boundaries work for me. When I have said no to a request  for help, I have always been amazed at the resourcefullness that my children have. I am always pleased, too, that they don’t  seem to resent my wanting to have time for myself.

There are additional benefits to being helpful. Being engaged in the lives of my children and grandchildren keeps me mentally and physically fit. Here at the resort, I’d emphasize the latter. Today, my muscles will be challanged by the loading and folding of blankets. I am feeling the energy flow already.

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2 Responses to Serving our Children

  1. I’m with you. Families help one another. I would never think to ask for pay when babysitting or helping with other things. Now, I’m getting ready to move to another state and I am going to pay my son for loading up the U-Haul, but he doesn’t expect to be paid and he’ll probably say no.

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